Monday, January 4, 2010

three orchids

i have three orchids.
they were all gifts,
from my mother.

i love them.
i water them,
keep them leafy
and green.

last night i was sitting on our couch,
staring at the three orchids,
thinking how pretty they are,
even though they never bloom.
try as i might,
they just don't.
and yet i don't stop taking care of them.
i keep nurturing,
maintaining,
but no blooms.
maybe they need
a different window?
a new view?

curious.

then my thoughts turned to children,
my three children.
and how similar they are to
the three orchids.

i love them.
i water them,
keep them leafy
and green.

but are they blooming?
truly blooming?
or maybe i am so caught up
in the nurturing,
the maintaining,
that i'm not noticing
the blooms?
maybe they need
a different window?
a new view?

and then there is me.
the mama pajama orchid.
so defensive about resolutions.
change.
am i nurturing myself?
maintaining?
just barely leafy
and green,
i'd say.

and while there is a lot to be said for maintaining,
(i'm finding it completely exhausting!)
what i really want,
more than anything,
are the blooms.

the sweet, fragrant blooms.

and so there you have it,
what i am focused on this year.
blooms.
for while i am a master gardener
of all things leafy and green,
i am still learning
how to bloom.

7 comments:

Crystal D said...

I want the blooms too. And I totally agree, the maintaining is exhausting. Beautiful post.

Cristie Ritz King said...

Awesome. The writing and the thoughts. I sorta have a crush on you.;)
To blooming in 2010.

pajama mom said...

thanks ladies!

Anonymous said...

there are two kinds...the big spectacular ones that appear suddenly and last a long time...the small ones that may last only a few seconds and are gone, to make way for new ones i guess.

strangely,the big ones are easier to see if you don't check as often and if you aren't involved in the gardening. i can see them easily from here 'cause i get to look for them only every few months. trust me, there are lots of them.

the gardener gets to see and know his wards contimually, so he sees all the small little fleeting blooms. you see those very clearly. proof? re-read all these blogs. quick little blooms.

dad b.

pajama mom said...

thank you, papa!

One Sided Momma said...

i'm with crystal and cris except i think i have a crush on your dad - such a nice comment to read, thanks for that. and i happen to think he's right, for what it's worth. such a shame none of you beautiful mommas can see yourself through others' eyes. boatloads of blooms. blinding actually.

Anonymous said...

I think I might have to buy myself some orchids to grow and to remind me of this post throughout the year. La