Friday, April 29, 2011

gray area

me -
"my hair is starting to turn gray."

my new hair stylist -
"your hair is not bad at all! 
i only see a couple."

love her.
so honest.

minutes later,
she finishes up the back
and moves slowly around my right side.

my new hair stylist -
you are right!
you do have tons of grays,
they are all around your face!"

okay, maybe too honest.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

wordless wednesday

new earrings.
to go with the new holes in her ears.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


today i went to get my new license picture.
i fixed my hair,
and i put on make-up.

i sat in the chair and the friendly dmv man
took my picture.

then he said,
"oh, we'd better take another one,
'cause in this one you look like coach cowher!"

i'm pretty sure this is why people flip out
at the dmv.


Sunday, April 24, 2011

five things i learned this easter

1.  hyacinths make me stuffy.
2.  hyacinths make me puffy.
3.  hyacinths make me sneeze.
4.  hyacinths make me wheeze.
5.  hyacinths are evil.

Friday, April 22, 2011

happy earth day

there is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
there is a rapture on the lonely shore,
there is society, where none intrudes,
by the deep sea, and music in its roar:
i love not man the less, but nature more.

~lord byron

Monday, April 18, 2011

bunny liaison

for future reference.

on saturday m made a list for the easter bunny.
it looked a little like a christmas list to me,
but i kept quiet.

she put her list in a folder and went to bed.
she also wrote a note to the tooth fairy.
and put it under her pillow.
did the tooth fairy know the easter bunny?
could she tell him what she wanted for easter?
you know, relay the message?

when she woke up the note was gone.
and in its place was her list.
from the folder.
we can therefore deduce (deduct?) that
the tooth fairy read the list
and delivered the message to the easter bunny.
case closed.

but then.
the "other two" got wind of this occurrence.
they immediately got busy writing their lists.
both looked a little like christmas lists to me,
but i kept quiet.
they schemed and hoped and wheeled and dealed,
and begged m to put their lists under her pillow last night.
along with yet another note explaining the situation.

we told them we weren't sure if the tooth fairy
did indeed know the easter bunny personally,
or if she would even be out checking
again for teeth so soon.
or she might be busy and not enjoy being
the easter bunny's bitch liaison.

no, we were assured, she delivered for m,
she would do it for them as well.
she wouldn't mind a bit.
duh, obviously.

and sure enough,
this morning the note was gone,
and their lists were moved from under m's pillow,
to the breakfast table.
much excitement followed.

so to sum up -
the tooth fairy knows the easter bunny -
they are great friends -
and apparently don't mind helping each other -
checking for teeth or delivering baskets/messages,
as needed, interchangeably.
every night.

and i can only speculate,
but the tooth fairy must be completely exhausted
all from digging a large hole trying to help a bunny out.

Friday, April 15, 2011

friday funny

doctor lady -
"any issues?"

me -
"well, sometimes i get
really bad pms
and i am
reaaallyy grouchy,
with major headaches
and body aches."

doctor lady -
"do you take anything?"

me -
"oh yes, the same thing i've
always taken,
teen midol."

doctor lady -
"um, pj, you aren't a teen anymore."

me -
blink, blink, blink.
does not compute.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

39 cds

there are many reasons i love mm.
as y'all already know.
he cleans, he is a great dad,
he cleans, he makes me laugh,
he cleans, he goes to the grocery store,
he cleans, he is cute,
did i mention he cleans?

here are 39 more reasons why
i fell in love with him,
and, yes, he actually owns all of these cds.
for real.
and there are so many others,
but i'll just have to save those for next year.

def leppard
bad company
led zeppelin
air supply
10,000 maniacs
dave matthews
neil young
the outfield
duran duran
reo speedwagon
barenaked ladies
the goo goo dolls
don henley
green day
38 special
the steve miller band
the tragically hip
rage against the machine
beastie boys
van halen
gin blossoms
guns and roses
rusted root
steely dan
gordon lightfoot
pearl jam
the police
stone temple pilots

happy birthday mm!

Monday, April 11, 2011

your pennsylvania state sixth place bars dynamo

your number six bar worker -
in the whole state.
yay m!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

birthday wisdom

"you don't go backward!
and i think 35 for a woman is a big thing.
i remember when i was a little girl looking up
at my mother at 35 doing her hair in the mirror,
and i thought, 'my mother has never been more beautiful.'
she had years of wisdom you can't erase.
and now i feel the same way when i look in the mirror.
you can't pretend you are an ingenue.
you can't pretend you are wide-eyed and innocent.
it's on your face!
it's in your body.
it's in your voice."
reese witherspoon

happy birthday to me.
i'm not 35.
but that's close enough.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Sunday, April 3, 2011

sunday confession

today g got some new underwear.
and white.

no more...
power rangers,
pirates of the caribbean,
g.i. joe,
or wolverine.

i'm honestly going to miss all those guys.

what's your sunday confession?
the confessional is open.

Friday, April 1, 2011

from sue

sometimes i get cards from my mom's friend sue.
they always come at just the right time.
and they always make me smile.
thank you, sue!