Sunday, August 30, 2009

dear buffalo bills

dear buffalo bills,

congrats on your 50 years of football.

mm loves his new 50th anniversary shirt.

i like it too.

i'm just asking that you change your team colors. neutral please.

you see, every time mm gets a new red buffalo shirt, it turns my laundry pink. this time it was my khaki shorts that took the hit.

yep, i am one of those people - i don't separate clothes.

so can ya'll help a sista out?

let me know what you think.


Friday, August 28, 2009

withholding information

we have been taking the kids to the pool in the evenings. i tell myself it is because it is much less crowded in the evening, but let's be honest, it is really because i am too chicken to take all three by myself. i have other excuses too, like we don't have to use sunscreen in the evening, we don't have to pack snacks in the evening, it is cooler in the evening, etc. whatever ever works well with the words, "in the evening"... so i wait for mm to get home from work. i tell myself that he will enjoy getting to go with us.
(in the evening)

i was sitting with k at the little pool, mm was with the big kids at - the big pool.
three kids, two different pools. seemingly infinite combinations.
ANOTHER reason i don't take all three alone, oooh, that's a good one.

ok, on to my withholding information. i wasn't doing it on purpose, i was just being a good listener, honest.

a nice enough mom, two kids. little kids. she starts up a conversation. that's cool. about 20 minutes later i realize, omgosh, she thinks i have one kid. only one kid. curious.

(although, i don't think she thought about it long enough or she would have seen how incredibly laid back i am with my three-year-old. want to jump in by yourself? go for it. want to try a tea party? sure! cannonballs? hey, give it a try. and the ever popular - "oh, you fell? well, maybe that's because you were running..." you know, things that might have happened OVER MY DEAD BODY with my first. i mean, come on, i was sitting on a lawn chair with a book and i hadn't even taken my t-shirt off yet. or my shoes. i figured if there was a real emergency i'd just step in clothed, or signal to that teenage lifeguard boy.)

"we went to the zoo today. you have no idea how hard it is with two kids, and the double stroller, all those hills!"
"then they wanted to come to the pool and with two it's just plain crazy."

"uh-huh." i said knowingly. preaching to the choir, lady. and thinking, yeah, try a double stroller with a front pack. also thinking, yep, why do you think i'm here in the evening?

two kids is tough. i remember those days so well that i am actually kind of surprised that i had another kid at all. and i also have a few friends with four (or more!) that tease me relentlessly for avoiding the pool with my three. and i also have friends with one child. so really, i know it's all relative. parenting is just plain hard.

but i kept quiet. i wanted to tell her my secret. but i didn't. i'll blame it on my sinister twin.

it didn't take long. m and g crashed our little party.

m had to go to the bathroom (#2, mom!)
g was hungry (low-blood-sugar-monster-hungry)
k started screaming at the top of her lungs because g splashed her
(the bloodcurdling scream that means, "it's time to go")

so, you see, even though i really didn't mean to do it,
the look on the mom's face, was, pretty classic.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

run update

yes, two posts in one day.
did i mention the big kids went to school?

anyway, in regards to my couch to 5k bid,
there is good news and bad news.

the good news, i'm in week 5.
today i ran 8 minutes, walked 5 minutes, ran 8 minutes.

i feel great after a run. i look forward to running.
the little flabby part under my arms is almost gone!
that is cool.

i ran today at the gym for the first time. i wanted to try the treadmill, but i also wanted to see how far i've been running.
5k is three miles or so. yes?

now the bad news.
don't laugh - too loud.

after i completed my session of a total of 21 minutes, i looked at the distance...

1.25 miles?!?!?!?

i think people could crawl faster than that.
drunk people.
really old, drunk people.


school daze

the big kids started school yesterday.
it was both a relief and a grief, if that is possible.
as soon as they got on the bus, a funny friend appeared.
guilt. my old pal.

so - i ironed...
'cause that's what sane people do when they feel guilty.
right? right?!?!

i ironed school outfits for this week and next.
(don't worry, this will wear off soon)
as i ironed i let the guilt sink in.

we didn't make it to kennywood a second time.
ditto for the zoo.
why don't i home school?
what, am i freaking crazy?
i can't home school.
did we watch too much spongebob?
why didn't we make those cute christmas ornaments?
why am i so happy they are going back?
does everyone feel this way?
i hate that i feel this way.
i miss them already.
why was i not brave enough to take them to the pool all by myself?
why am i ironing t-shirts?
why don't i home school?
that gets funnier every time.
i could be completely insane.

after this cathartic ironing session, i did other "sane" things. i made detangler (future post), cleaned out the butterfly pavilion (another future post), did some laundry, ate tomatoes and cookies for lunch, and started to feel a little better.

i looked around.
so much to do.
so i flipped through 5 better homes and gardens.
(third post's a charm)

btw - the three-year-old talked through all of this. in fact, she never stopped talking from the time she got up until she went to bed last night. she was so thrilled with the one-on-one-ironing attention. she was delightful. until about 3pm, then not as much.

i started to think about all the fun things we did do this summer.

grandparents, beaches, amusement parks, zoo, butterflies, painting, sidewalk chalk, bike riding, swimming, trail walking, cousins, baseball park tour, restaurants, s'mores, lightning bugs, camp fires, birthday parties, washing cars, girl scout camp, math books, sprinklers... etc.

hmm, i guess we did have some laughs.
we were busy.

they crashed through the door. smashed through all my warm and fuzzy thoughts. hungry and tired, but excited and laughing, talking about their day. and already thinking about tomorrow.

maybe no need to home school after all? right? right?!?!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

how does it know?

love this stuff, but...

how does it know when i am stressed?

oh, wait,
i am stressed all the time.


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

conversations in playdates

samples from today at our house...

in the car - "just step over the legos, our house is really messy too, but it's okay."
in the house - "we have three spider webs, two by the stairs and one by the back door."
at lunch - "my brother has a wart, go on g, show her your wart."
in regards to spongebob - "the POOP episode is the best one ever, definitely."

i'm really not sure if this means we need more playdates, or less...

ride home - "your mom is really nice." "yeah, she's nice, when we have a friend over."

Monday, August 17, 2009

orange float

actual drive-thru conversation...

"may i take your order?"
"yes, i'd like 2 root beer floats and 1 orange float, please."

"uh, we don't have orange floats."

"oh. do you have orange soda?"
"and ice cream?"

"huh, yeah, i guess we could make you one."

"uh, thanks."

i think.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


this morning while the kids were getting dressed...

g is putting on his shorts, i notice he has on two pairs of underwear.

despite the obvious question of - aren't you horribly uncomfortable? - i ask instead,
"hey g, why do you have on two pairs of underwear?"

he looks down, unsurprised,
"because daddy told me to put on clean underwear before bed."

"uh, i don't think he meant over top of your other underwear, bud."


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

careful what you wish for

baby k said m's name.

i mean, obviously she has said it before, but stumbled over the middle part. she was the only one who pronounced it this way, just the first syllable and part of last syllable. in her sing-song voice, a ba-jillion times a day.

now, all of the syllables and sounds are clear.
utterly, positively, clear as a bell.

and i find myself heartbroken.
utterly, positively, heartbroken.

Monday, August 10, 2009

dear bank lady

dear bank lady,

first of all, omg, could you please count that money a little faster? listening to "hoedown throwdown" for the 42nd time here.

when you motion to the lollipops, i shake my head no. you look at me like i am an alien. "are you sure?" you mouth, "they are free."

yes, i KNOW they are free.
been taking lollipops from the bank my whole life.

"no thanks." i say. she shrugs. i drive away.

isn't that enough? why can't i say no? why are you staring at me?

why (?) do i feel the need to drive thru again and explain to you...

one - my kids are beyond hungry. they need food. i've pushed this errands thing to the limit. it's after noon. we don't usually have lollipops for lunch. usually.

two - i'm trying to cut out dyes. especially red 40. yes, it's ridiculously difficult, but something i'm committed to for my kids.

three - i normally don't reward behaviors that include the baby screeching, "I WANT A LOLLIPOP, NOW!" - with a lollipop.

so back off, bank lady. 'cause i'm in charge here.

pj mom

p.s. four - and hahaha on you - we just had lollipops at the post office. dum-dums too, not like those generic-looking things in your basket...

Friday, August 7, 2009

woodlouse spider

ever wonder what eats

it's the woodlouse spider.

i didn't even know you existed until just the other day.

i could have gone my whole life without knowing you.

you best stay the F out of my house, spider.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

wordless wednesday, cleaning

i don't think we are irish...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

the cadillac of sit upons

did you make these in scouts?!? sit upons? i swear mine was two paper plates sewn together with yarn! and i sat on it. on the ground, in the mud, in the rain, in the woods!

nowadays, these young whippersnapper girl scouts have created the cadillac of sit upons.

an empty icing bucket from a bakery. decorate it. put ALL of your scouty stuff in it. mess kit, canteen, bug spray, sunscreen, poncho, and song book. put the lid on - sit.

freaking genius.

Monday, August 3, 2009

couch to 5k

this year marks 20 since i ran high school track...


that was me! hard to believe, no?

i'll have to find a picture. or not.

in the meantime, i found a couch to 5k link at pittsburgh mom.

i'm in.