Thursday, March 31, 2011

tell-tale toothbrush

this morning i spied a toothbrush
on the floor.
i won't tell who it belongs to.

did i -

a.  scream, "grody!" and throw it out?
b.  start a pot of boiling water to sanitize toothbrush?
c.  hold toothbrush under hot running tap water for 30 seconds?
d.  rinse toothbrush off quickly and throw it in the drawer?
e.  pick up toothbrush and place it on the sink?
f.   walk right by leaving toothbrush alone?

i'll never tell.
thump, thump. 
thump, thump.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

never a wish better than this

**update**  4/4,
doing well.

**update** 4/1,
mm visited with her,
she is doing, "very well."

**update** 3/31,
she has made it
through surgery.

mm is in nyc.
with his gramma hanu.
she is 95-ish.
but she will tell you she is 29.
or 43.
depending on the day.

i will be here taking care of the kids.
as long as i need to.
and i will not whine or complain.
because she is 95-ish,
and i am not.

she is in the hospital.
she needs a new heart valve.
she is very feisty.

please keep her in your thoughts.
for a moment.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

sunday confession

last night some friends called.
they were having a pool party today
for their youngest.
they had some cancellations,
and did we want to bring the kids
to the party?

our kids LOVE to swim.
especially in the winter.
at a hotel.

but we said no.
mm is not spontaneous.
at all.
it was too much trouble.
trying to watch three kids in the pool.
and we had so much to do today.
so much work, cleaning,
organizing for the week.

we should call them back
and let them know.
no way.

then a thought popped into my head.
if we had just one kid -
would we have said yes?
the answer was yes.
we both agreed that we would have
no problem if it was just one kid.

how fair is that?
not at all!
it's not their fault
there are three of them!

so we said yes.
and we went to the party.
the kids had a blast.
swimming, sliding, splashing, playing.
they had cake and even got treat bags.
it was a wonderful way to spend a sunday.

and to think we almost said no.

have you ever said no
because it was too much trouble
to say yes?

what's your sunday confession?
the confessional is open.

Friday, March 25, 2011

dear potential employer

dear potential employer,

in the fall k will go to kindergarten.
kid three in school, yo.
this means i am ready to go back to work!
between the hours of 9am and 2pm.
ok, 9:30am.
with an hour for lunch.

i'd rather not work on fridays.
or weekends.
oh and if the kids are off from school,
i won't be able to make it.
ditto if someone is sick.
two-hour delays could be a problem as well.
i really don't want to work on holidays either.

so just to wrap up -
barely part-time,
extremely flexible,
and also - if i could work from home
in my pajamas
that would be so awesome.

see you soon!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

gas princess

wednesday confession -
i don't pump gas.


when i was a teenager
gas magically appeared in my car.
i suspect my father,
but i can't be sure.

when i got married,
mm took over.
whenever i drive my car,
the gas is just - there.
i know.
i am a total gas princess.

i don't pay attention to gas stations.
unless they serve hot dogs. 
with slaw.
or those pretzel/nacho cheese combos.
i also don't pay much attention to
those little signs with the prices posted.
i have only filled my tank a handful of times.
and when i do - i get really grouchy about it.
i am not even kidding.

so today, i braved the gas station
for the first time in forever.

and even though i am a total gas princess,
i am thinking $68.05 is a bit much for a tank of gas, no?

wow, perhaps i should venture out of the castle more often.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

fifth wheel

mm was sick first.
he worked from home on a monday!
completely unprecedented.

g caught it next.
i may or may not have sent him to school anyway.

around the same time k got sick.
she missed three days of school.

and then, it was m's turn.
she lounged around for the weekend,
and missed school on monday.

so i basically played nurse for two straight weeks.
and now that i'm starting to feel crappy,
i can't get any sympathy from these people.
and i don't think my contract allows for sick days.

Saturday, March 19, 2011


in the fall sometime i saw
a friend
slice up an avocado
and eat it -

i silently thought - ew.
and ack.
plus other weird words.

then i got to thinking.
i do like guacamole.
a lot.
and i've had avocado slices
on bacon cheeseburgers
once or twice.
but plain?

so i bought one.
and i scooped it out,
sliced it up,
and ate it.
it was - delicious.
and fabulous.
plus other good words.

months later i am still hooked on avocados.
and i've almost gotten mm hooked as well.

they are particularly good -
with chips and salsa.
with tortilla soup.
mixed with greek yogurt.
on a turkey sandwich.

or - just plain - so weird.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

and i also have some swampland in florida to sell you

wall of despair

the wall guy -
"do you see these other walls in your neighborhood?
your wall will NOT look like those walls.
your wall will NOT sink, crack, or lean."

me -
sign us up!"

Sunday, March 13, 2011

sunday confession

after seven, yes seven, years,
we have made our last preschool payment.

and in a few short months the explorer will be ours.
no more car payment!

oh the possibilities!

so, obviously,
when we got the dodge inspected,
the mechanic* said,
"it's time to start looking for another car."

something about brake lines,
rusting, or breaking, or something.
how important are brake lines, really?

dang.  just dang.

what's your sunday confession?
the confessional is open.

*but then he totally passed it for inspection - wth?

Saturday, March 12, 2011

banana bob

at our local shop and save
there is the coolest guy -
banana bob.

if the kids see him and say hello,
he will give them a banana.
with a sticker on it that says,
"banana bob" -
his signature.

k is all over this,

"did you know that bananas
have vitamins and miner-wals?"

"banana bob says so."

"banana bob says bananas
are a heal-fffy food."

"did you know the banana
peel protects the banana?"

"that's what banana bob told me."

why yes, i do know these facts.
and i've been telling you this stuff for years.
so has your father.
but it apparently doesn't mean squash
until banana bob says it.

so, banana bob, hats off to you, man.
you're all right with me.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

that's my girl

the little kids and i watched
pirates of the caribbean
while mm and m were away.

i debated because the skeletons
are a little creepy,
but i figured i could fast forward
if i needed to.
(turns out we didn't make it that far,
might finish it this weekend)

g asked a million questions,
i had to pause it several times
to answer all the -
"who's that?"

k was pretty quiet.
until the sword fight scene
in the blacksmith shop.

she leaned over and whispered,
"he is really cute."

i whispered back,

"will turner."

that's my girl!
but that's my legolas.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

underworld trivia

flip on tv to find...
underworld: rise of the lycans.
oh joy.
(this is sarcasm)

mm - "have we seen this one?"
me - "looks really familiar."

mm - "i don't think we have."
me - "aren't they all the same?"

mm - "this is the third one."
me - "yeah we haven't seen it then."

mm - "wonder why we never watched it?"
me - "because it doesn't have kate beckinsale."

mm - "hey, you're right, it doesn't."
me - "seriously, why even bother to watch a movie
if it doesn't have kate beckinsale?"

mm - "exactly."

the end.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

sunday confession

i keep having these dreams.
gymnastics dreams.
except i'm the gymnast.

i'm at a meet.
i'm not really that nervous, surprisingly.
at one point i did observe
that i hadn't practiced the vault,
in oh, 25 years or so,
so it might be kind of difficult
to get over on the first try...

aside from the fact that
if this were an actual meet,
there would be a million things
for me to be nervous about,
not the least of which would be all the
shaving that would be necessary for
me to get into a leotard,
how i might look in said leotard,
and the minor fact that i am old,
some would say that this dream
really means that i am living vicariously
through my daughter and her gymnastics career.

and to those people i say,

what's your sunday confession?
the confessional is open.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

wordless wednesday

note to self -
next winter, put the flower pots in the garage
like your mother done told you.