memorial day

"rev. james russell ballard, 83, of fayetteville,

went home to be with the lord on monday, june 30, 2008,

at the princeton community hospital following a long illness.

born oct. 20, 1924, at cannelton, he was one of the 14 children

of the late william and molly maner ballard.

rev. ballard was ordained a minister of the baptist faith

at cotton hill baptist church.

over the past 25 years he pastored at

gentry, kaymoor, loop creek, and bethel baptist churches.

he was a man who truly loved and served the lord.

he was a graduate of montgomery high school

and attended appalachian bible college.

rev. ballard was a tech sergeant in world war II;

he participated in d-day at utah beach

and aided in the liberation of cherbourg, france.

he received two purple hearts, medals for valor,

and he served with the 79th infantry 313 division.

he was a coal miner and retired from cannelton industries

with 38 years of service and he was a member of the umwa..."

the article goes on to mention his wife of 62! years,

margaret,

his 6 children,

6 grandchildren,

and 3 great-grandchildren.

it's funny that when i was reading this

over and over after he died,

i kept thinking about how he told us kids

that he was shot while

saving a birds' nest

that had fallen out of a tree!

we would listen with wide eyes.

a purple heart for saving the baby birds!

hurray!

and how he couldn't bend his knee.

because he didn't have a kneecap anymore.

(from saving the baby birds, of course!)

so he walked with a straight leg.

and all of his grandchildren would walk that way too.

because we wanted to be like him.

we still do.

thank you for everything, paw-paw.

more than you know.

sunday confession

m donated her hair today.
i was extremely nervous.

but she had no reservations,
just sat right down and said,
"up to here, please."
pointing to her chin.
she never looked back.


i am constantly amazed by her.
my giving spirit -
mixed with mm's moxie.
a wicked good combination.

what's your sunday confession?
the confessional is open.

*bonus confession* -
the girl who cut m's hair guessed that she was 12. 12! omg.

three parents

"do you know what we need?"
mm asked.

"what? it isn't an iphone, is it?"
i asked.

"no, we need three parents."
"one for each kid."
mm said.

before i can respond,
m shouts,
"ooh-ooh, can i have the new parent?!?"

careful what you wish for, young lady.

wordless thursday

needs a sign.

how about -
"touch the toys and suffer"
(too harsh?)

ranch life

"hey mm, i bought us these ranch chips to try."

"i don't like ranch."

"whodawha?"

"don't like ranch, never have."

"aw come on, everyone likes ranch."

"not me."

"are you being serious?"

"yep."

"but i love ranch."
"m loves ranch."
"how did i not know this about you?"
"who are you?!?"
"just try them, they are really good."

"no way, i HATE ranch, okay?"

"i think i need a moment, stranger."

sunday confession

we budget.
each payday we put cash into a little flex folder.
for groceries.
gas.
church.
even haircuts.

we have always done this,
and it works really well.
most of the time.

on friday,
i stole some of the church money,
and purchased
a bacon and blue combo meal
with a dr. pepper
from wendy's.
it was an emergency.

mm said god would understand.
i hope he is right.
pray for me.

what's your sunday confession?
the confessional is open.

big lots crocs

the kids all need new sandals.
their feet grow exponentially.

this year i wanted to get them all crocs.
i was going to march up to that
fancy kiosk at the mall and just do it.
whole hog.

today we went to big lots.
to hang out.
and buy random items.
it is one of our favorite pastimes.

in our cart,
superglue,
little-thingies-for-chair-legs-
to-protect-hardwood-floors,

lava lamp nightlights for the kids,
one blue, one silver, one red.
totally awesome, btw.

i turn the corner,
and, there they are,
crocs!

$10.
one pair of cool black flip flops for m.
same size as me, omg.
one pair of chicago bears for g.
papa's gonna love 'em.
one pair of spongebob for k.
fur-lined, no less.

three pairs for the price of one.
and suddenly we are ready for summer.
take that, fancy mall kiosk.
no offense.
obviously.

don't forget the milk

i don't forget anything.
anything.
ever.
middle names, birthdays, worthless trivia.

until recently.
i don't know why,
but suddenly,
i can't remember even the most basic things.
middle names (hell, first names), birthdays, worthless trivia.

a couple of weeks ago,
i left the house to take m to gymnastics.
i usually sit for a while and relax,
or go shopping or walking with the other gym moms.
it is me time, and it is fabulous.

mm said,
"remember - come home tonight,
i'd like to go to the gym - i didn't get there this morning."

i said,
"sure, no problem."

i arrived at gymnastics,
started talking,
laughing,
and my friend said,
"let's run to pat catan's."

and i said,
"sure, no problem."

i forgot about the gym.
totally.
not cool.

then last night i leave the house,
to take m to gymnastics,
mm says,
"grab some milk - we're out."

i say,
"sure, no problem."

i purchase the milk,
take it to gymnastics,
and store it in the fridge.
i brag about how i have
accomplished my mission.

not an hour later,
m and i are driving home at 9:30pm.
and i realize
i forgot the milk
at gymnastics.
sigh.

floodgate 8

i am standing on the edge of
floodgate 8.

behind me is surging water
as far as the eye can see.
the water started slowly enough.
then built up strength along the way.
how did this happen so quickly?

1 glorious
2 a new brother
3 stubborn
4 a new sister
5 kind
6 smart
7 gorgeous
8 my girl

so here i stand,
unable to open floodgate 8.
even with all the swirling emotions
building up over the past 8 years.
i can't do it.
i'm not ready.

because all i can see in front of me,
is 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, and on.
to 100 or more.

with no more floodgates in sight.

sunday confession

can you remember when you went to a hotel,
sans kids, before kids, or no kids?

and there was some kind of function
at the hotel, that involved kids?
lots of them?

do you remember how
freaking annoying that was?
kids in the pool,
kids in the lobby,
kids in the hallways,
kids everywhere!
loud.
and running.
because kids can't walk?

well, this weekend,
we went to the state gymnastics meet
in bethlehem, pa.

we took our whole family.
add in seven other gymnasts,
and their families,
and we were those kids!
it was a blast.

what's your sunday confession?
the confessional is open.

doctor office bingo

too late

"three people told me my new bangs
make me look younger."
so - i must have looked really old before?

"really, like who?"

"one of the PIE moms, one
of the preschool moms,
and m who works at gymnastics."

"really???"

"yes. really."
evil eye.

"oh, what i mean is, well yes,
of course,
they really DO make you look younger.
i totally agree with all of them."

yeah, too late, buddy.

a grand plan

yesterday i had a plan.
a grand plan.

mm came home from work,
and the kids wanted to go to their school
to ride bikes.

mm wanted to cut the grass instead.
enter my grand plan.

mm could take the kids,
i would stay here,
and cut the grass.
alone.

it was freaking genius!
i would finish quickly -
leaving plenty of time for
sitting on the couch reading,
with a cold beverage,
and no noise.

"have fun!" i said.
"be good!" i said.
"this is SO awesome!" i thought.

i got to work,
the evening was cool and breezy.
but then guess what?

cutting the grass is pure torture!
and it takes forever!
i finished just as everyone returned home.
plus, i'm so out of shape.
and that hill in the backyard is so steep.
i was sweating.
a lot.

i.don't.like.to.sweat.

time for a new grand plan.
dang.

stuff i have said to my mother-in-law

happy belated mother's day!
i'm back from wv.
a most lovely weekend.

and, in honor of mother-in-laws,
for mine is pretty awesome,
here's a list of...

stuff i have said to my mother-in-law
(and *i think* she still likes me!)

1991 - i do not drink that much.
1992 - i am totally taking a flower arranging class, so i can arrange my own flowers!
1993 - i am totally taking a ballet class!
1994 - i am totally taking an auto-mechanic class, so i can fix my own car!
1995 - i will never turn mm's laundry right-side-out while folding. that is his problem.
1996 - i am writing my thesis.
1997 - ok, now i am writing my thesis, for real.
1998 - i am totally having like five kids, at least.
1999 - it's been five years, so baby any time now.
2000 - six years, so baby any time now.
2001 - almost seven years, so any day now, really!
2002 - i will never let my baby "cry it out" - sheesh!
2003 - i am buying all new boy furniture, so therefore, i do not want mm's old furniture.
2004 - i am feeding my children only organic food.
2005 - i think we need a bigger house because i am thinking about a fourth kid.
2006 - i am thinking about homeschooling.
2007 - i am making our house totally green.
2008 - i would like to get a job.
2009 - i would not like to get a job.
2010 - i do not drink that much.

what stuff have you said to your mil?

the three little (chuckle)heads

it is official.
all three of our kids
have stuck their little heads
through the banister.

(actually, one kid did it twice,
but i'm not telling which one)

the funny part -
if you think getting your head
stuck in a banister is funny,
which i kind of do -
is my reaction.

first kid -
"oh my god! call 911,
mm get the chainsaw!
get her out now!"

second kid -
"dude, how the heck did you
get your big melon head stuck
in that little space?!?"

third kid -
"are you serious?"

fortunately k is such a peanut
she was able to crawl right through
the banister!

which, come to think of it,
i'm not sure why it took three kids to figure that out.

do you know this woman? (redux)

my mommy* is special!
by k

how old is she?
she's about 11... i think.

how tall is she?
41 inches

how much does she weigh?
20 pounds

what color hair does she have?
black

what does she do around the house?
cooks stuff

what is her favorite drink?
coffee

what is her favorite food?
salad

what is her favorite television show?
cooking shows

what does she cook?
stuff that we want to eat

where does she like to go?
to her mom's house

what is her favorite hobby?
she likes to do laundry

*apparently we have a house-elf,
a vegetarian one,
who enjoys laundry.
and cooking.
please don't tell S.P.E.W.

new kicks

me and mm...

"do you like k's new shoes?"
"more shoes for that child?!?"
"yeah, some keds."
"but they're brown."
"uh-huh."
"with orange stripes?"
"uh-huh."
"aren't those boy shoes?"
"yes, i think they are, actually."
"what the heck made you buy those?"
"they were a dollar."
"i love them."

the end.

did i ever tell you how lucky you are?

the kids found the dr. seuss shelf
at the library.
yes!

so many dr. seuss books i haven't read.
i didn't even know he wrote so many.
busy dude.

and fun to read.
i think i'll make up some new words today.
i'll keep you posted.

anyway, isn't it just like dr. seuss
to speak directly to me,
right to my heart,
my soul?

i have been known to cry while reading dr. seuss.
i know, totally weird.
but, oh the places you'll go,
just gets me every time.
the kids look at me like i'm a freak.
mm just shakes his head.

this week we read
did i ever tell you how lucky you are?
preach it, seuss.

"when you think things are bad,
when you feel sour and blue,
when you start to get mad...
you should do what i do!

just tell yourself, duckie,
you're really quite lucky!
some people are much more...
oh, ever so much more...
oh, muchly, much-much more
unlucky than you!"

"poor mr. bix!
every morning at six,
poor mr. bix has his borfin to fix!

it doesn't seem fair. it just doesn't seem right,
but his borfin just seems to go shlump every night.
it shlumps in a heap, sadly needing repair.
bix figures it's due to the local night air.

it takes him all day to un-shlump it.
and then...
the night air comes back
and it shlumps once again!

so don't you feel blue.
don't get down in the dumps.
you're lucky you don't have a borfin that shlumps."

are you crying yet?
no? just me? oh.

"and suppose that you lived in that forest in france,
where the average young person just hasn't a chance
to escape from the perilous pants-eating-plants!
but your pants are safe! you're a fortunate guy.
you ought to be shouting, "how lucky am i!""

happy monday.
hold on to your pants.
xo, lucky duckie

sunday confession

friday night i went to bunco.
except there weren't enough ladies
to actually play bunco.

so we ate and laughed,
gossiped, drank-ed, giggled,
ate some more, talked,
and had lots of fun.

it was, oh,
just like regular bunco,
but without dice.

shhh.
don't tell mm.
he put the kids to bed.
by himself.

what's your sunday confession?
the confessional is open.