Friday, December 18, 2009

you look like her

i recently attended a wedding. i sat at a table with a wonderful woman who knows my parents and brother, but had never met me. this happens so rarely that i was caught a little off guard. obviously, i realize i graduated from high school almost 20 years ago, went to college, got married, and live in a different state, but i still feel like i live in wv. at least in my heart, if that makes any sense. and i stay tuned-in thanks to my mother, who keeps me updated. even with this woman, who hadn't even met me yet.

"you look like her." she stated simply.
"yes." i answered simply.

"she must have looked just like you when she was your age."
she elaborated, nodding toward my mother.
"yes." i answered again, simply.

she did. she does. i do. we do. look alike.
and i've been thinking a lot about it since then.
and this evolution to the answer yes.

the high school me would have shouted,
"i DO NOT look like her!"
her manners, seriously?
cooking and baking - all the time.
cleaning and organizing.
proof-reading my writing.
doing laundry.
uh, no thanks. as if.

the college me would have conceded,
"i might look a little like her..."
learning to use those manners.
receiving baked goods in the mail.
cleaning and organizing my own space.
decorating - with posters - einstein, anyone?
proof-reading my own writing.
shopping - not so terrible.
doing my own laundry for the first time.
might not be so bad.

the newlywed me would have pondered,
"maybe i am starting to look like her?"
wondering why no one else ever learned their manners.
asking for copies of all those recipes.
cleaning and organizing a whole house.
decorating - ah, it just never gets old.
proof-reading mm's writing.
shopping, glorious shopping.
doing laundry for two.
i think i can do this.

and the now me answers simply,
teaching manners to three little ones.
making up recipes of my own.
cleaning and organizing - and learning when to let it go.
decorating playrooms.
proof-reading little made-up stories.
shopping, me time!
doing laundry non-stop.
i'm trying, man, i'm trying.

so keep in mind,
when you say to me,
"you look like her."
and i answer,
what i am really saying is,
"i sure hope so."


Anonymous said...

Oh my address may say Ohio but my heart says New York.


Bonnie said...

What a nice tribute to your mom.

One Sided Momma said...

strange how history repeats itself and we become okay with that...even kind of happy about it. loved this post.

Anonymous said...

How sweet!!!!

Laura K

Anonymous said...

she never let go of anything with me. when did you let go of not letting go? dad b.

pajama mom said...

i am a work in progress.