stellar parenting

i am afraid of the dark. it's true. something lives under my bed.
i know it.

so obviously, my kids are afraid of the dark also.
i totally understand. rightfully so, in my opinion.

last night g was afraid to brush his teeth alone. okay, now this is getting a little ridiculous. is he saying he is afraid of the dark, or using this as an excuse not to brush his teeth?
(or any other fill-in-the-blank task)

"this is our house. it is a safe zone."
"i'm still scared."
"no monsters allowed."
"i'm afraid of the dark."
"there are lots of lights on."
"i don't want to go by myself."
"there is nothing to be afraid of here."
"can you go with me?"
"it is right down the hallway, i can see you from the couch."
"i'm still scared."
"what exactly is it that you are afraid of?"
"the invisible monster."

pause. wait for it. we walk together to the bathroom.

"so what makes you think the invisible monster wouldn't just get me too?"

silence.

yes, i suppose he can just send the therapy bills to me. insurance covers stuff like this, right?

stellar parenting.