mayflower mayhem

since i finished the lincoln book and it was not a total snoozefest, i headed back to mm's book shelf to pick another tome.

so far, i am mildly interested, they haven't made it across the ocean yet, i'm assuming the action picks up after that...

ahh, history, not my cup o' tea.

bliss

isn't she beautiful? hope we have enough undies to last until she gets here on tuesday...

never, ever, thought i'd be this excited over a washer. sad, very sad. pathetic really.

also, happy 39th anniversary mom & dad. true bliss.

vacation time

last year we started a new tradition. vacationing with our college friends. oddly enough three of the couples (including us) lived on the same co-ed floor freshman year, and ended up married. the fourth couple are high school sweethearts that we met just a little later. between the four couples there are eleven kids! once about ten years ago we all went to nags head, before kids, and now are re-starting the family vacation tradition.

this year is hilton head. mm and i are used to vacationing with parents (read - money) and so paying for a beach house on our own is not fun. makes me appreciative of all the beach vacations i had growing up.

as we start to pack i am reminded of all the things that have happened since our last vacation. or rather, all the things that haven't happened...

i haven't exercised in a year - except for 10 days on the bike - a new year's resolution gone horribly wrong.
i still have the SAME summer clothes as last year - even the swimsuit.
i am no tanner than i was last year at this time when i was the palest woman on the beach.
i haven't learned to count cards in phase 10 - darn it!
my kids still don't drink near enough water.

even though my closest friends are about to see that my post about the extra 5 lbs. around my mid-section is actual reality, there is good news...

they are my closest friends - and they don't give a poo about any of the things i haven't done this year - because i think they like me okay the way i am.

oh, and - we are going to be SO busy with our kids that no one will even notice my "mom tan" - think farmer tan but with capri and flip flop lines...

see you soon girls! i can't wait to hit the beach!

fun with diction

g and i were quizzing k on different words...

"can you say - please?" i say. (usually sounds like mease)
"puh-puh-lease," g says.
"please," k says. pretty good.

we quiz her on a few more words, grandmother, pizza, penny. you know, the important words in life...

then g says, "can you say - distinguished?"

*update* when asked where g learned the word "distinguished" - he answered, "spongebob!" who says bob is not educational? sheesh!

play-doh hero

i know it's not really in my job description...
but i just rejuvenated all the crusty play-doh.

with water and my own two hands.
it's just who i am.

learning 'bout lincoln

mm has lots of books. he loves american history. i personally avoid that space on the trivial pursuit board. history tends to get jumbled in my head as i can't keep a clear timeline, or match the appropriate people with the right event.

i prefer mysteries. fiction. romance.

i picked this one off of our shelf. mm said he really liked it. that can mean i will like it too, or it will put me to sleep in 10 minutes... either way, i'm a winner.

i wouldn't say i can't put it down, but it is holding my attention. and it has a little mystery and romance. and i feel like i should have been taught all this at some point. maybe history class would have been a little more interesting. or - maybe i WAS taught all this stuff - i was just asleep?

obviously, we all know what happens, but the details are exciting, and i'm learning what a "cool dude" lincoln was, and how different our country might have been if he had lived. good stuff.

**green update** moved on to food. shopped in the organic section of the grocery store for more than a few items. i realize i am late on all this stuff - but better late than never, yes? found organic "go-gurt" tubes. really cool, the kids have been missing those since we removed red-40 from their diets last fall.

my webkin

yes, folks - my webkin. a charcoal grey cat.

mm got me one for valentine's day. i am still taking care of her long after the kids have given up on theirs...

why? why do i feel like i need to feed and take care of this "pet" for a whole year?

because i'm loony, apparently.

her name is sterling. isn't that adorable?

anyone else have a webkin - and are proud-ish to admit it?

new hobby

this is my first bracelet. it was infinitely more difficult than i ever thought it would be when i muttered my now-famous line, "i can make that."

i started with copper - sterling is more expensive - so i am learning with the cheaper stuff.

as i get more experienced, which could take a while, you may be blessed with one of my creations. m has a pair of butterfly earrings we made together.

then, when i am famous, you can show everyone the junk i used to make...

i give up

so i am ridding my house of all products that are harmful...

yesterday i get out the new hurricane glass i bought at marshall's. will look great with the new soy candle my mom bought me. yes, i am really trying here.

on the bottom i remove the price tag and a little sticker that says,

"this product contains a chemical known to the state of california to cause cancer."

good thing i live in pennsylvania...

home school

after a few mornings of wrestling and jumping on couches, i have started a home school. the kids sit around the table and do worksheets. they actually like it - for a little while.

g is a master mathematician - but i figured out that while he can say the answers - writing them is a different story. will work on that.

m has a summer math booklet, if she finishes she gets a prize.

k scribbles with various art utensils and makes quite a mess.

but for a moment they all sit. and yesterday i wiped down the stove and this morning the dishwasher. i had no idea that something that is cleaning our dishes could get so disgusting. i mean, really disgusting. but it looks better now. the magic eraser is a wonder tool.

on to the microwave, that we said we were getting rid of... so i let it get totally grimy, but we still have no new one, so i will clean again for now. how long do microwaves last? ours is 14 years old and going strong.

swiffer man

a couple of years ago, when k was a tiny baby, my mother-in-law sent me an entry form for "mr. good housekeeping." as most of you know, mm does a LOT around here. so i worked on my essay and sent it in...

i got a call that he was in the top five. could we come to nyc for father's day? of course! they would keep us posted. unfortunately, we didn't win, which was kind of okay with mm, because he didn't want to be on national television running a vacuum cleaner anyway. i personally wanted the prizes which included a plasma tv and a fancy-smancy washer and dryer, among other goodies.

on father's day i always think of my essay, and how much work he really does around here.

for your review... although i don't think i technically own the rights to it anymore.

Superhero Profile

SwifferMan – No floor can escape his awesome strength. No surface is safe from his brawn. Hardwood, tile, or carpet – dirt cannot hide from his invincible cleaning power. Scours, polishes, buffs with super-human style.

Real Name – M M
Occupation – Network Engineer, Grime-Fighter
Fortress – Pittsburgh

Height – 6’2”
Weight – 200
Eyes – Green
Hair – Blonde

Special Abilities – Though legendary for floors, to typecast would be gravely underestimating his true genius. Able to put away mountains of laundry in a single evening, able to grocery shop with two spawn and coupons, and able to bathe three spawn with barely a dribble spilled out of the tub. Never met a dishwasher that didn’t need emptied.

Weapons – Weapon of choice is his SwifferMax. Other expert weapon proficiencies – vacuums, brooms, disinfecting wipes, bathroom sanitizers. Secretly developing a mini-legion completely versed in all his cleansing methods.

Nemesis – LaundryQueen. Seen heaping clean laundry on bed hoping SwifferMan will sort and put away before retiring. Carves out her own spot, leaving rest of bed covered. Previously perturbed by SwifferMan’s aid – now skilled in covertly increasing his workload…

Allies – Mother-in-Law, “Let him clean!”
Nemesis’ friends, “Wish we had husbands like that!”

Summary – Can you love a husband more with the vacuum cord dangling over his shoulder? (To keep it from getting shredded) A man who makes a challenge each week to save more with coupons? ($15 personal best) A man who knows that two small Swiffer sheets equals one SwifferMax sheet? (In an emergency)

ABSOLUTELY!

how clean is your house?

update from camp wv...

the kids are fighting, yes, throwing punches, over who gets to clean grandmother's kitchen floor!?! they are hitting each other with the dustpans and swiffer - trying to be the first to get the crumbs from under the table...

where am i? some parallel dimension?

p.s. pajama mom got some sweet new pajamas, no more hello kitty pants, i've moved on to polka-dots.

head for the hills

school is out - all the kids are home - so what's a pajama mom to do?
head for the hills of course!
we are all at camp papa and grandmother's for the week...

g's clothes

g did this... thought i'd share.

blessed owie

i recently applied for some life insurance. i suppose if something ever happens to me, mm will have to hire some unattractive, old - man to help take care of the kids, right? at least this kind of places a value on all the crazy stuff i do all day...

the nurse stopped by to do my physical. i felt like the true hypochondriac i am as i explained all the times i've been to the doctor in the last 10 years. chest pains, gall bladder pains, ultrasounds, stress tests, 3 kids, etc. it actually got kind of humorous after a while.

by this time we were exchanging stories about our lives. she has 3 boys, and a sixteen year old granddaughter. she told a story about living with her husband on a military base and having to wash all the cloth diapers and other laundry in her bathtub! i could tell she would have no sympathy for me and my pull-up in the washer story. which i did again yesterday. ugh.

it came time for the blood test. first she told me my veins were very thin. then she checked each arm several times. then she picked one that she said was shaped like a y. this did not give me much confidence. but she pulled it off, and soon she was collecting blood. then - i knew i was in pittsburgh when she said the next sentence,

"i blessed your arm before i jaggered you."

i have a large purple bump, but at least i only got stuck once. and my arm is blessed. so i should expect great things from myself today.

** weekly green update ** i got new facial cleanser and moisturizer. it is actually less expensive than the department store brand i was buying before. it smells really earthy, which i didn't think i would like, but i do. my new deodorant seems to be linked to my complexion, which looks better than it has in years. very weird. i also bought a pair of - bamboo pants! so soft. this week i am going to look at soap and lotion. and an eco shower curtain. it's a good thing i love to shop...

strep butt

a trip to the pediatrician is always blog worthy. (un)fortunately, i haven't been there in a while. until today.

if you are a parent with little kids, poop stories are funny.

when we didn't have kids we would listen to friends tell these exaggerated (or so we thought) tales about giant blow-outs and the like. we would look at each other with these grossed-out faces, thinking our friends were cuckoo.

now we proudly tell our wal-mart parking lot blow-out story with pride... but i digress...

pediatrician's office:

- we arrive, sign in, i tell the nurse k is having "poop issues".
- kids touch every toy and get cozy with a new friend who has the croup.
- called back for k's weight check. g asks a million questions. nurse gets annoyed.
- stuck in THAT LITTLE ROOM... i swear they have cameras in there and are in the hall watching me lose what's left of my patience.
- kids climb up on the table, jump down, repeat. paper on the table crinkles, a lot.
- since k hasn't pooped in a while, she decides now would be good.
- even though i have a bag of snacks, stickers, crayons, kids just want to crawl on the dirty floor.
- doctor comes in. g asks a million questions. doctor gets annoyed.
- doctor takes one look at k's cute bum, and says, "looks like strep."

???????????

now, i had two kids with me, so i couldn't hear too much with the constant badgering, "mommy, i'm hungry, i'm thirsty, i want chocolate, i want gum, i want sprite." in front of the doctor they like to ask for things they know they won't get... i mean, at least not at 10am, duh! i think they like to see my facial expressions...

i ask, "you mean like strep throat?"
"yes."

so we have a prescription and are home safe, strep butt and all.
i think i need a drink.

(a)musing morning

this morning amidst the usual chaos, g says,

"mom, i'm starting to like this life."
how cute, thoughtful, insightful, clever, lovely, etc.

then...
"except, you don't buy me the things that i want."

and there you have it.