clouds in her coffee

when i first started drinking coffee,
i was at a wedding in louisville.
m was with us,
she was 15 months old.
staying in a hotel with her
was no fun.
i was completely exhausted.

one of my mom's friends
told me a secret.
put a little hot chocolate in the coffee,
and i wouldn't notice the taste.
mmm.

that weekend became a coffee drinker.
a-cafe-mocha-three-okay-four-dollar-a-cup
coffee drinker.
from that place.
that place i still love to go to.
on special occasions.

my friends told me that soon,
soon, i wouldn't care where
the coffee came from,
i would just drink any old kind.
not me, i said, never.

but they were right.
eight years later,
i will drink any old kind.
i just need a little sugar,
and a lot of creamer,
and i'm good to go.

but i miss that time.
that time in the beginning,
when coffee was new to me.

when my kids were little,
i used to sing to them
"the good morning song" -
i opened their blinds,
smiled and sang,
"good morning,
good morning,
the best to you each morning!"

(which i learned from my mother,
and might be a beatles song,
or a corn flakes commercial,
or a hybrid of the two)

but after a while i stopped.
i don't know what happened,
i just did.
now i just get them up,
any old way.

but i miss that time.
that time in the beginning.
when everything was new to me.
and i want it back.

starting with the
good morning song.
again.