Saturday, April 10, 2010

how to train your dragon

not in 3D,
but with puke.
and lots of it.

(please stop reading now if you dislike vomit stories)

we took the kids to the movies
for their awesome report cards.
we shared a large popcorn.
remember that for later.

about halfway through,
k says her stomach hurts.
she is sitting on my lap.
because dragons are a little scary.
but not too scary.
do you need to go to the bathroom?
i ask.
no, she says.

a few minutes later she says i am squishing her belly.
all this time, i'm not listening to the signs.
the giant flashing neon signs.
because it has been so long since our last pukefest.
years, even.
and k has never puked in her life.
she is four.and.a.half.
the thought did not cross my mind once.
i ask her again if she needs to go to the bathroom.
no, she says.

then, just as the giant dragon shows his face,
she crawls up onto my shoulder,
i think she is hiding her eyes,
but no.
she is puking.
all.over.me.

i can honestly say that i have never been puked on.
(even more impressive as i am a wvu graduate)
until last night.
and boy howdy did she make up for it.
big time.

we went straight to the car,
stripped down her clothes,
and waited for the big kids and mm
to finish the movie...
($40+ investment - i'm just saying)

my initial shock turned into worry,
and a call to the doctor when we got home.
then we spent the rest of the night
watching her breathe, holding her, pulling back her hair,
so she could empty her belly.
(the sheer amount of popcorn was amazing,
i'll not be eating it again for a while)
she cried and cried that she missed the end of the movie.
it was heartbreaking.
then finally, around midnight, she slept.

i don't want to brag too much,
but, dang, i was a freaking rockstar.
i had puke in my hair,
my sweatshirt,
(like.inside.the.hood.)
my eyelashes,
jeans,
socks,
and shoes.
k looked even worse.
motherhood has apparently rescinded my gag reflex.
i just jumped into the trenches and did my job.
and i was glad to do it.

so does anyone know where
i can pick up my "puke" badge?
i'd like to iron it on now.

p.s. this morning, she is fine, and asking for candy.
mm and i, however, are scarred for life.

6 comments:

5 Kids With Disabilities said...

Ohhhh! You've been traumatized, she is fine! If you kept a change of clothes in your car you are a mom with intuition! That happened to me once and my kid had to come home wrapped in a beach towel!
Lindsey Petersen

Bonnie said...

I have never been puked on. I bet you won't miss the signs again.

Cristie Ritz King said...

I...I...I...
got nothin.
Three cheers for survival-you and she.
Whew.

pajama mom said...

thanks ladies!
she is feeling much better.
no one else has it - yet.

lindsey - an extra outfit would have been perfect - will have to do that from now on!

mm gave us his coat - that got us home at least. :)

One Sided Momma said...

you are a freaking rockstar because being puked on is just about where the sidewalk ends over here. and you know what else? always keep an extra shirt - for you - in the car. i've learned that one in a similar fashion. glad to hear she's feeling better and so sorry for all the hurling.

pajama mom said...

extra mama shirt -
smart cookie.