fruitables

oh hell yes.
my kids love these.

they cost a small fortune, but...
a full serving of fruit
and vegetables.

totally worth it.

sunday confession

i'm starting something new today.
sunday confession.

today's confession...

my kids don't wear coats.
a la suri style.
for real.
there, i said it.

what's your sunday confession?
the confessional is open.

pre-lit, sh*t!

not all men like to decorate trees. it's sad, but true. there are men who can artfully wind lights onto a tree (like my dad) and men who just can't* (like mm) - this is disappointing. but after a few years of the whole "i can change a man" thing, i gave up. he's just not a light guy. it's cool. for 11 months each year, anyway.

enter our tree. it is really pretty. we bought it at lazarus/macy's half price ten years ago. and it was still expensive. but totally worth it because it was pre-lit. (and i had a job, yo!) 1,000+ little white lights all perfectly placed on each branch.

get it out of the box, "fluff" the branches, plug it in. genius.

a few years later one of the rows burned out. we called the company, they sent us a whole new row for $12! still genius.

last year, three rows burned out. we called the company. no longer in business. we ignored the burned out lights and hung the ornaments anyway. classy.

this year, i had a beyond brilliant idea. simply take all the lights off the tree and put new ones on. i know, i'm a thinker. so we got to work. the kids sat with eager anticipation and ornaments in hand. "is it time yet?" - "how 'bout now?" - "how 'bout now?" - etc.

let me just say for the record that whoever (whomever?) wraps the lights around the branches of a tree to make it pre-lit, does not make nearly enough money. i'm sure of it. in fact, i can't even fathom an amount of money someone could offer me that would make me think wrapping lights would be a good career move.
and i'm a stay at home mom, bu-dum-dum.

we spent hours, yes hours, unwinding, cutting, snipping, ripping, and cussing the little white lights on our tree. they are double (sometimes triple) wrapped around every shoot/bud/leaf of every branch. then, clamped with little tie-wraps. our fingers were scratched up from the fake needles. about 4 hours in, we just wanted to buy a new tree. we didn't care how much it cost. after another 2 hours, we were finished.

except - we still had to put new lights onto the now naked tree! by we, of course, i mean mm. remember, he's not a light guy. yeah. he was a trooper though, he got in there and made it happen. it looked halfway decent, until about 10 inches from the top, when he ran out of lights. i just smiled and said it looked fine, he knew i was fibbing, but neither of us had the energy to discuss it further. we were exhausted.

so that's how it stands at the moment.
anyone know a light guy?
or maybe i should become a light lady?
even better.

*editor's note - mm asked me to point out that "can't" could be replaced with "don't enjoy" - point taken. agreed.

spelling queen bee

so here we are, it's december 4th.
third grade.

m just came home from school in tears.

she just...
missed her first spelling word.
insterment.
damn.

the mom in me is so freaking proud
that she made it this far.
the student in me really feels for her.
but the competitor in me is thinking up a strategy.

who is this william kid, and how can we throw him off his game?
we need to get back on top.
there are prizes. fame. fortune.
we will double our efforts next week.
and every week after that.

happy friday everyone!
good luck on your spelling tests!

to whom it may concern

to whom it may concern,

just for the record,
let it be known,

i would have NO problem
bashing a car with
my nine iron.

absolutely none whatsoever.

bring it,
pj

friendly advice

apparently you cannot put
non-rechargeable batteries
into the battery recharger.

even if they really look like rechargeable batteries.
they really did. really.
i'm not crazy.

it causes a rather loud explosion.
freaks out little dudes.
and pj moms.
and sprays black liquid-ish, powder-ish stuff everywhere.
like the lost mist.

so now you know too.
you're welcome.
or de nada.
whatever.

random thought

today i realized,
i have been watching
dora the explorer -
FOR EIGHT YEARS.

in a row.

you'd think i'd be more bilingual by now.
seriously.