40

slow down you move too fast

last friday morning i agreed
to work so my friend could
go to her kids' valentine's parties
at school.

i left the house,
then i couldn't remember if i unplugged
the flat iron,
turned around,
checked,
(i had)
then headed out again.
late.
as usual.

i drove past a policeman
who had some other poor schmuck
pulled over.
hehe.

i kept going.
i was just driving my normal way,
not speeding at all,
or so i thought.

soon the lights were in my rear view mirror.
i thought he was going past me to catch
a bad guy.
so i pulled over a bit,
and he did too.

crud.
he asked for my license and registration,
proof of insurance.
surely i'll get a warning, i thought.
as soon as he sees what a squeaky clean
driver i am!

he walked back up, handed me the ticket
and said,
"slow down ma'am."
and walked away.
that was all.
no time for excuses.

i guess i do need to slow down.
$137.00 worth.
wiped out all the hours i had worked that week,
most likely.
dang.

on the way home i tried to go the speed limit.
and every day since then i have gone no more
than 5 miles over.
it is torture!
and everyone behind me hates me a lot.
a whole lot.

but he was right,
i was speeding,
hurrying,
rushing,
worrying,
thinking about other things.

so i will pay my fine,
and try, try, to slow down a bit.
kicking down the cobblestones.
feeling groovy.

memorial day

we still miss you.

wordless wednesday

old friends always know just what to send.
(not that i'm calling you old, rj)

 

dear 17-year-old self

dear 17-year-old self,

put on the freaking sunscreen.
just do it.
yes, it takes forever.
wah.

do not lie and tell your mother
that you put on sunscreen
when you in fact did not.
put on the freaking sunscreen.

do not use baby oil as suntan lotion.
even if your friends do.
or crisco oil.
yes, i am telling you, crisco oil
as suntan lotion may be the
stupidest idea you will ever dream up.
for real.

do not burn yourself because
you think it will turn into a tan.
do not go to the tanning bed
because you get a summer job
at an office where all the other
ladies go tanning everyday at lunch.
you are smarter than that.

put sunscreen on your face.
because one day,
one day soon,
you will have a spot removed,
and by removed,
i mean,
SHAVED OFF OF YOUR FACE
AND THEN LASERED.
and you will have to wait two weeks
to find out if you have ruined
your skin forever.

and it will be a long two weeks.
so.
just wear the freaking sunscreen, mkay?

xo,
pj
aka your 39-year-old self

p.s.  please read this to your 11-year-old brother.

gray area

me -
"my hair is starting to turn gray."

my new hair stylist -
"your hair is not bad at all! 
i only see a couple."

love her.
so honest.

minutes later,
she finishes up the back
and moves slowly around my right side.

my new hair stylist -
"OH MY GOODNESS! 
you are right!
you do have tons of grays,
they are all around your face!"

okay, maybe too honest.

friday funny

doctor lady -
"any issues?"

me -
"well, sometimes i get
really bad pms
and i am
reaaallyy grouchy,
with major headaches
and body aches."

doctor lady -
"do you take anything?"

me -
"oh yes, the same thing i've
always taken,
teen midol."

doctor lady -
"um, pj, you aren't a teen anymore."

me -
blink, blink, blink.
does not compute.

birthday wisdom

"you don't go backward!
and i think 35 for a woman is a big thing.
i remember when i was a little girl looking up
at my mother at 35 doing her hair in the mirror,
and i thought, 'my mother has never been more beautiful.'
she had years of wisdom you can't erase.
and now i feel the same way when i look in the mirror.
you can't pretend you are an ingenue.
you can't pretend you are wide-eyed and innocent.
it's on your face!
it's in your body.
it's in your voice."
reese witherspoon

happy birthday to me.
i'm not 35.
but that's close enough.

i surrender

reese's white peanut butter eggs.

i surrender.

gas princess

wednesday confession -
i don't pump gas.

ever.

when i was a teenager
gas magically appeared in my car.
i suspect my father,
but i can't be sure.

when i got married,
mm took over.
whenever i drive my car,
the gas is just - there.
i know.
i am a total gas princess.

i don't pay attention to gas stations.
unless they serve hot dogs. 
with slaw.
or those pretzel/nacho cheese combos.
i also don't pay much attention to
those little signs with the prices posted.
i have only filled my tank a handful of times.
and when i do - i get really grouchy about it.
i am not even kidding.

so today, i braved the gas station
for the first time in forever.

and even though i am a total gas princess,
i am thinking $68.05 is a bit much for a tank of gas, no?

wow, perhaps i should venture out of the castle more often.

avacado-a-go-go

in the fall sometime i saw
a friend
slice up an avocado
and eat it -
plain.

i silently thought - ew.
gah.
and ack.
plus other weird words.

then i got to thinking.
i do like guacamole.
a lot.
and i've had avocado slices
on bacon cheeseburgers
once or twice.
but plain?
nope.

so i bought one.
and i scooped it out,
sliced it up,
and ate it.
it was - delicious.
yummy.
and fabulous.
plus other good words.

months later i am still hooked on avocados.
and i've almost gotten mm hooked as well.
almost.

they are particularly good -
with chips and salsa.
with tortilla soup.
mixed with greek yogurt.
on a turkey sandwich.

or - just plain - so weird.

looking back on 2010

when i caught this post by waspy girl,
i knew it was something i wanted to try...

i am not normally a resolution person,
i usually make a couple,
but i don't really enforce them
once january is over.
sad, but there it is.

what was one goal you accomplished in 2010?
i sweet talked mm into a new kitten.
i didn't want the kids to grow up without a pet.
weird, i know.
it turned out to be a great decision,
but could have easily gone the other way.
as a rule, mm does not like cats,
but he seems to like this one.
goal!

what is your favorite memory of 2010?
disney. 
i had GIANT expectations. 
and GIANT fears. 
would we have fun? 
would we get it all done? 
would we stay sane? 
we did, and we loved it. 
pretty much every moment,
except this one time, in the animal kingdom, when everyone was really hot and tired,
oh and this other time at hollywood studios, when everyone was really hot and tired...

what is your least favorite memory of 2010?
millie, a close friend of mm's family, passed away.
from a car accident,
as she was driving home from mailing her holiday cards!?!
it is still mind-numbing.
and her card is hanging upstairs.

what was the best trip you took in 2010?
i know. 
you think i'm going to say disney. 
but, wait, no!
i went to my parents' house with the kids over the summer.
for a whole week, not once, but twice. 
a definite highlight.

what was your favorite purchase in 2010?
iphone 4. 
for the record, i was totally against it.

what was the best book you read in 2010?
i recently started lemony snicket's "unfortunate events" series.
m and i are reading them together.
highly entertaining.

also, a few of the "wizard of oz" series.
and "the girl with the dragon tattoo" series.

"the taking" by dean koontz,
i couldn't put it down.

so many books,
so little time.

what changed about you in 2010?
i realized that i am ready to go back to work.
part-time.
k will be starting kindergarten in the fall,
and i am kind of excited to see what's out there.
imagine, conversations, with grownups!

what made you cry in 2010?
m turning 9.
g turning 7.
k turning, gulp, 5.
it was all completely awful.

what is one home project you accomplished in 2010?
we didn't do too many home projects,
but we did repaint our upstairs main living area
(dining room, living room, hall, foyer)
the same color. 
yes, almost the exact same color as before,
just scrubbable satin this time instead of flat,
which i HAD to have when we moved in.
three kids later, i just don't know what i was thinking, really.

best meal of 2010?
we have a ladies' group that meets
at a different restaurant every month.
so i have had many, many good meals,
right here in pittsburgh.
there are so many great places
right in my own backyard.

paris 66.
i had the pissladiere (pizza, but way better)
and a salad.
scrumptious.

yo rita's.
best taco i ever ate.
and a warm salad.
awesome-ness.

zaiaka indian restaurant.
yummy chana masala.
extremely close to my house.
many takeout nights.

mccormick and schmick's.
seafood.
i actually went with mm this time.
it cost a small car payment,
but worth it, i think?

what made you want to scream in 2010?
the kids pushing their boundaries, hard.
emerging attitudes.
i'll be honest, i did some screaming in 2010.

what was your verse of 2010?
be still, and know that i am God (psalm 46:10)
i said this over and over in my head a lot.

what does your list look like?
i'd love to see.
thank you, waspy girl!

sweet sixteen

just doing some 16th wedding anniversary research.
no reason.
ahem.

"the 16th wedding anniversary does not have
any traditional materials
or symbols associated with it."

"this wedding anniversary does not have
any flowers associated with it."

what the hell?

on my mind

you tell on yourself by the friends you seek,
by the very manner in which you speak,
by the way you employ your leisure time,
by the use you make of dollar and dime.

you tell what you are by the things you wear,
by the spirit in which you your burdens bear,
by the kind of things at which you laugh,
by the records you play on the phonograph.

you tell what you are by the way you walk,
by the things of which you delight to talk,
by the manner in which you bear defeat,
by so simple a thing as how you eat.

by the books you choose from the well-filled shelf:
in these ways and more, you tell on yourself.
~jamie sidwell~

have a great weekend!
btw - i listened to cher, kiss, and captain & tennille.
(on my phonograph)
how about you?

once upon a time

once upon a time,
a girl got an iphone.
it was a big step up
from her tracfone.

she used up the new battery,
in less than a day.

her husband said,
"you know, you can only recharge
the battery 400 times,
after that it loses some
capacity."

she heard,
"blah, blah, recharge the battery 400 times, blah, blah."

because 400 times is like once a day - for over a year!
and that is a lot of angry birds.

the end.

clouds in her coffee

when i first started drinking coffee,
i was at a wedding in louisville.
m was with us,
she was 15 months old.
staying in a hotel with her
was no fun.
i was completely exhausted.

one of my mom's friends
told me a secret.
put a little hot chocolate in the coffee,
and i wouldn't notice the taste.
mmm.

that weekend became a coffee drinker.
a-cafe-mocha-three-okay-four-dollar-a-cup
coffee drinker.
from that place.
that place i still love to go to.
on special occasions.

my friends told me that soon,
soon, i wouldn't care where
the coffee came from,
i would just drink any old kind.
not me, i said, never.

but they were right.
eight years later,
i will drink any old kind.
i just need a little sugar,
and a lot of creamer,
and i'm good to go.

but i miss that time.
that time in the beginning,
when coffee was new to me.

when my kids were little,
i used to sing to them
"the good morning song" -
i opened their blinds,
smiled and sang,
"good morning,
good morning,
the best to you each morning!"

(which i learned from my mother,
and might be a beatles song,
or a corn flakes commercial,
or a hybrid of the two)

but after a while i stopped.
i don't know what happened,
i just did.
now i just get them up,
any old way.

but i miss that time.
that time in the beginning.
when everything was new to me.
and i want it back.

starting with the
good morning song.
again.

wordless thursday

passing down childhood memory #427 - grandmother's juice box.

wordless thursday

happy birthday to my mom.

41 - a top ten

you know you have been married for 41 years when...

10. you can still remember every detail of your wedding day, without watching the video - which wasn't even invented yet, just sayin'.

9. he knows that she loves to travel - she knows that he loves to stay home - and it's all good.

8. she wonders how he can spend so much at big lots - he wonders how she can spend so much at marshall's - unless it's for the grandchildren - then neither wonders.

7. you know not to mention the other's age - except at the movies.

6. she has perfected the art of dropping subtle hints - for example, taking a sledgehammer to the shower walls and dumping tile out of the bathroom window means it is time for a remodel - he, over time, has perfected the art of picking up on these subtle hints.

5. she cooked and he washed dishes for 30+ years, now both know all the cracker barrel specials - by heart.

4. he knows that she will order the turkey dinner, she knows that he will order the chicken and dumplings - no one will wash the dishes.

3. he knows to buy the roses - seriously, man, just buy the roses.

2. you can forge each other's signature with alarming accuracy.

1. you can finish each other's sentences - not only because you are so attuned to each other, but because you've already heard this story - 27 times.

happy anniversary, mom and dad!
hope you get your roses.
seriously.

retro pay

random thought #7,042.
retro pay...

if i were to get a check today
for nine years of work
at my old salary
with a 3% raise each year
~for being awesome~

it would be for
$454,082.69

well, i mean approximately,
of course.
because calcuating it out exactly
would just be c.r.a.z.y.