the pj 500

well, as you have no doubtly noticed,
(is doubtly a word?)
i've been dragging my feet with the whole 500 thing.
part of me doesn't believe i've actually written 500 posts.
that nobody has read!
ha.

i've come a long way since i started,
i don't wear my pajamas in public anymore.
very often.
ahem.

my kids are older now,
they can do things for themselves.
not everything,
but enough.

i have to admit,
i started slacking.
not teaching as much,
figuring they have heard it before.
they already know the rules.
so i relaxed.
a lot.
probably too much, truth be told.

i've read some books,
i've knitted,
i've took some time for myself,
because i convinced myself i deserved it,
and i do!

but not quite yet.
they aren't completely independent yet.
they still need me.
i still have a lot to teach them.

so tell me -
what did you like about the last 500 posts?
de-lurk yourselves!
let me know which direction to head for the next 500.
because i'm clearly slacking.
but i still feel like i have a lot to say.
maybe i can say it in my blue jeans?

draft #5 - w.w.d.d.

as i move closer to 500 posts,
i thought i'd look through my drafts
and see what didn't make it to the
"publish" stage.

yes, i watch that show.
the couple
with the forty bajillion kids.
and i love it.

i particularly love the mom.
her voice never wavers.
she never yells.
it is amazing.

sometimes when i'm having
a crazy moment,
i think to myself,
"what would duggar do?"

this is as far as i got.
i envisioned a multiple choice quiz.
but seriously,
w.w.d.d.???

draft #4 - nervous breakdown

as i move closer to 500 posts,
i thought i'd look through my drafts
and see what didn't make it to the
"publish" stage.

i don't know why i didn't publish this one.
i think it's because i couldn't get the wording right.

i was talking with my maw-maw,
who had six children.
she was asking about our kids,
and i was telling her all the crazy stuff
that happens around here,
sometimes all in a span of five minutes.
it is non-stop.

i told her i didn't know how
she managed with six.
i have always respected her for this,
and even more so now that i have three.

she laughed, a really good laugh, and said,
"oh lord, you know this one time
i had a breakdown and
ended up in the nervous hospital,
i had to take pills and everything!"

then she said, with a far-away look,
"they sure don't stay little long at all."

it was such a revealing moment.
it made me respect her even more if that's possible.
i appreciated her honesty.
it made me feel better about my crazy life.
and i really wanted to know if there are still
nervous hospitals.
sign me up.

draft #3 - her cavalier

as i move closer to 500 posts,
i thought i'd look through my drafts
and see what didn't make it to the
"publish" stage.

last year about this time,
m and i went to see the nutcracker -
in pittsburgh with the girl scouts.
we even got a back stage tour,
and i wondered why i ever gave up ballet.
then i remembered that i like to talk.
a lot.
way too much for ballet.

anyway, when i got home i wrote a post.
about the sugar plum fairy
and her cavalier.

how he stands behind her,
lifts her up,
makes her look fabulous,
when, in fact, he may actually
be the better dancer.
but he lets her shine.

this was analogy about me
and mm.

it is quite possibly
the cheesiest post ever
written.
i can't even believe i wrote it.
so it will remain unpublished.
forever.
the end.

draft #2 - the one with the pee

as i move closer to 500 posts,
i thought i'd look through my drafts
and see what didn't make it to the
"publish" stage.

this is one that i actually did publish.
for a few hours.
at the time,
i probably had about two readers total,
and uh, still do.

i won't repost it here,
but it was basically a post about how tired
i was of cleaning pee from around the bottom
of the toilet.
oh, and the back of the toilet,
the wall, and the baseboards.
from g missing his mark,
every.single.freaking.time.

it made me crazy,
super crazy.
almost two years later,
i am still saying,
"g, go to the bathroom,
pee into the water.
focus. 
use the force, g."

it is much better these days.
thankfully the whole thing
was just a phase.

mm has never said much about my blog.
but he did not like this post at all.
so i removed it.
but when i read it,
i still think it's pretty funny.

draft #1 - painted horses

as i move closer to 500 posts,
i thought i'd look through my drafts
and see what didn't make it to the
"publish" stage.

the first one i found is from long ago...
i had almost forgotten what i meant to write.
there was a title, a bit of text.

our family spent the day with the dinosaurs
at the museum of natural history in pittsburgh.
it was a great day.

there was a special exhibit of horses upstairs,
and outside the exhibit was a table
with a horsey craft.
color the horse,
then make it into a puppet.

the kids got to work.
then it happened.

m colored her horse -
brown.
all those markers in front of her!
the choices!  the possibilities!
and my rainbow, glitter, ever-colorful child,
picked brown.

"brown?"
"yes mommy, horses are brown,"

"what about pink? or purple? or polka-dots?"
"no, brown, mrs. said horses are brown."

"but your horse can be whatever color you imagine it to be."
"brown, mommy."

it was such a small moment.
but it was so sad to me.
it's probably why i didn't post it.
she was growing up.
i never wanted to homeschool more in my life.